It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
