Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
