we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
