Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
