I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
