Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
