quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
