He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
