My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
