Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
