his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
