i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
