I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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