he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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