I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
No subtext here. People are naked.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
50% drunk capacity currently
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
