i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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