no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
