yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
