Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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