Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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