Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
