The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
be right there i have to get my cape
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
