you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
