i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
