I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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