Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
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