That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
