Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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