weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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