Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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