life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
