You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
