yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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