Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
