it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
