Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
