Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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