Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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