it wasn't lemon gatorade
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
