thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
