In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
