North Korea, Best Korea!
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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