i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
