I should be sponsored by Trojan
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
