D3 body, D1 cock
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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