when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
