He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It's blow job season.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
