Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
