there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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