i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
