He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
